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Angeltail's Prophesy

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1Angeltail's Prophesy Empty Angeltail's Prophesy Fri Sep 05, 2008 7:59 am

Angelwings

Angelwings
Deputy

Angeltail slid to a stop panting she looked around wide eyed everything was on fire ~ where am i!~ she thought she was lost the only thing she know was she needed to escape this fire or she wood be walking the path of the stars. Angeltail leaped over the fire landed on the other side with a thud she started running dogging trees and bushes that where on fire she slid to a stop at the edge of a cliff she looked back ~ my home and all I have ever known gown~ she thought she backed up and ran at the cliff she leaped time seemed to slow down as she jumped accosted she barley made it to the other side. her left paw tucked gowned she went limp and rolled on to the grown .she lay there dazed she slowly got up and looked at the cliff ~ h--how did I do that?!~ She thought watching the fire on the other side. A long hair yellow cat walked up to Angeltail “Sunstar!” she gasped “ I – I thought you where d—dead” she said “I am “ Sunstar replied “ thin ho---whit am I dreaming?” Angeltail asked “ yes” Sunstar said “ now pay attention in 4 moons a fire will brake out in the forest and only you can save the clans” Sunstar said “ what!? Why me?” Angeltail asked “because we know we can trust you” Sunstar said “ but..i was not born in a clan I was born to a loner “Angeltail said “ you don’t need the blood of a warrior to be brave” Sunstar said “ aye but your 1 of the bravest cats I have ever herd of “ Angeltail said “ yes but I was not born to a clan ether “Sunstar replied “what?!” Angeltail gasped “yes Angeltail or shod I said snow” Sunstar said “wait how do you—wait..Star? Is—is that you?” Angeltail asked “ yes its is me” Sunstar replied “ I – I thought you died because our mother died” Angeltail gasped “ I almost did but thanks to littlepool I did not” Sunstar said “ speaking of that Prophesy will I get hurt or die?” Angeltail asked “ even Starclan can not say yet “Sunstar said “ I must go now “Sunstar said “ wait” Angeltail said walking up to Sunstar “ I’m glad that I did finely get to meet my sister” she purred “ me to” Sunstar said before vanishing Angeltail snapped awake she jumped up and ran to tel her leader about the Prophesy

http://www.clancatsrock.weebly.com

2Angeltail's Prophesy Empty Re: Angeltail's Prophesy Fri Sep 05, 2008 2:38 pm

Windpelt

Windpelt

Pretty awesome, continue. Could work on spelling a bit though...is this part of something else...sure seems like it. Well then, off to read more RP's!

3Angeltail's Prophesy Empty Re: Angeltail's Prophesy Sat Sep 06, 2008 7:48 am

Blackstar

Blackstar
Leader
Leader

Spelling was pretty good, but you had run-on sentences. I would have to say that that's the biggest thing you need to fix, otherwise it's a very nice short story/prophecy. Just remember though, once you have a subject and a predicate you can end the sentence there ^^

http://walkindarkpawprints.weebly.com/index.html

4Angeltail's Prophesy Empty Re: Angeltail's Prophesy Tue Sep 09, 2008 1:32 pm

Angelwings

Angelwings
Deputy

angeltail stoped rilizing she had fallen asleep on her walk she was by the river she turnd heading back to camp

http://www.clancatsrock.weebly.com

5Angeltail's Prophesy Empty Re: Angeltail's Prophesy Tue Sep 09, 2008 1:35 pm

Guest


Guest

Tanglepaw saw Sunset enter camp and watched to see where she would go.

6Angeltail's Prophesy Empty Re: Angeltail's Prophesy Tue Sep 09, 2008 1:37 pm

Angelwings

Angelwings
Deputy

angeltail was panting hard she looked arownd for her leader

http://www.clancatsrock.weebly.com

7Angeltail's Prophesy Empty Re: Angeltail's Prophesy Tue Sep 09, 2008 1:37 pm

Moonstar

Moonstar
Deceased Ancestor Moonstar

Jadestream was trotting around ThunderClan territory when she realized Angeltail was somewhat behind her. 'Oh... Hello Angeltail!' she called out.

8Angeltail's Prophesy Empty Re: Angeltail's Prophesy Tue Sep 09, 2008 1:38 pm

Guest


Guest

Tanglepaw trotted over "What happened" he asked

9Angeltail's Prophesy Empty Re: Angeltail's Prophesy Tue Sep 09, 2008 1:40 pm

Angelwings

Angelwings
Deputy

angeltail was panting to hard to respond she she lay down trying to cool off and stop breathing so heard



Last edited by sunset on Tue Sep 09, 2008 1:42 pm; edited 1 time in total

http://www.clancatsrock.weebly.com

10Angeltail's Prophesy Empty Re: Angeltail's Prophesy Tue Sep 09, 2008 1:41 pm

Guest


Guest

After she cooled down Tanglepaw asked "What is it, what happened?"

11Angeltail's Prophesy Empty Re: Angeltail's Prophesy Tue Sep 09, 2008 1:42 pm

Moonstar

Moonstar
Deceased Ancestor Moonstar

Jadestream saw Angeltail looked weak. She darted up to har and asked, 'What's wrong Angeltail?! You look very weak! Would you like me to get you some fresh-kill?'

12Angeltail's Prophesy Empty Re: Angeltail's Prophesy Tue Sep 09, 2008 1:47 pm

Angelwings

Angelwings
Deputy

m--my s--sister s--she c--came to me in a dream s--she s--said that a--a fire was comeing a--and i was the o--only o--one that c--can save the c--clans"angeltail said till panting kinda heard

http://www.clancatsrock.weebly.com

13Angeltail's Prophesy Empty Re: Angeltail's Prophesy Tue Sep 09, 2008 1:48 pm

Guest


Guest

"Calm down, Jadestream please get some fresh-kill." Tanglepaw said

14Angeltail's Prophesy Empty Re: Angeltail's Prophesy Tue Sep 09, 2008 1:51 pm

Angelwings

Angelwings
Deputy

"h-how c--can i calm down -i im scard!" angeltail said

http://www.clancatsrock.weebly.com

15Angeltail's Prophesy Empty Re: Angeltail's Prophesy Tue Sep 09, 2008 1:53 pm

Guest


Guest

"Just try, eat some fresh-kill and sleep. Then we can talk about it." Tanglepaw said.

16Angeltail's Prophesy Empty Re: Angeltail's Prophesy Tue Sep 09, 2008 1:55 pm

Angelwings

Angelwings
Deputy

" ok" angeltail said geting up she wint over to some shad she laydown

http://www.clancatsrock.weebly.com

17Angeltail's Prophesy Empty Re: Angeltail's Prophesy Tue Sep 09, 2008 1:56 pm

Guest


Guest

Tanglepaw went and ate some fresh-kill to. Then went to get some poppyseed.

18Angeltail's Prophesy Empty Re: Angeltail's Prophesy Tue Sep 09, 2008 1:58 pm

Angelwings

Angelwings
Deputy

angeltail lay thing thinking ~why me why do i have to save the clans~

http://www.clancatsrock.weebly.com

19Angeltail's Prophesy Empty Re: Angeltail's Prophesy Tue Sep 09, 2008 2:04 pm

Guest


Guest

Tanglepaw poked Angeltail "Wake up"

20Angeltail's Prophesy Empty Re: Angeltail's Prophesy Tue Sep 09, 2008 2:06 pm

Angelwings

Angelwings
Deputy

angeltail looked up at her "what?" she asked with a yawn

http://www.clancatsrock.weebly.com

21Angeltail's Prophesy Empty Re: Angeltail's Prophesy Tue Sep 09, 2008 2:07 pm

Guest


Guest

" Did you have anymore dreams I should know about?" Tanglepaw asked.

22Angeltail's Prophesy Empty Re: Angeltail's Prophesy Tue Sep 09, 2008 2:10 pm

Angelwings

Angelwings
Deputy

no"angeltail said " but why did i have the dream dont leaders or medicen cats have thos kinda dreams?"angel asked

http://www.clancatsrock.weebly.com

23Angeltail's Prophesy Empty Re: Angeltail's Prophesy Tue Sep 09, 2008 2:11 pm

Guest


Guest

" Because some kits have a special link with each other" Tanglepaw said.


(Go to chatbox)

24Angeltail's Prophesy Empty Re: Angeltail's Prophesy Tue Sep 09, 2008 2:13 pm

Angelwings

Angelwings
Deputy

" my sister is dead!" angeltail snapped

http://www.clancatsrock.weebly.com

25Angeltail's Prophesy Empty Re: Angeltail's Prophesy Tue Sep 09, 2008 2:15 pm

Guest


Guest

" I know thats how" Tanglepaw hissed

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